2016/06/02

A pink and green THANK YOU

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Last night the sky was all pink and Johan was hanging out in the window admiring it. I am so thankful for him being there for me during my worst period in my life. Also I have a lot of friends who have been there for me, texting me in the morning to go out for coffee together which has meant so much. Thanks also to my family who I love so much. When I decided to start talking about my depression, it opened up so many stories from people around me and we could help and support eachother a lot. That's also why I decided to open up about it here on my blog the other day. I am so overwhelmed by the kind comments you people have left since then and I'm forever grateful, you helped me a lot, thank you! I hope I can help someone to feel less alone by knowing that we are many who feel pretty fucking bad from time to time. Personally I find strength in showing that I'm vulnerable and having the courage to talk about it. Better out than in as a friend says everytime she burps out loud.

Continuing eating a lot of green food. Today's lunch was steamed broccoli with feta cheese, olive oil, lemon, salt, pepper and tzatziki (which I make with greek yogurt, lots of garlic, cucumber, salt, olive oil and a dash of balsamic vinegar, usually I put some dill in it too but didn't have any at home).

Lots of love to all of you.

14 comments:

  1. Hi! I just read your last post and I am sending you a thousand LLHs! I don't have anything wise to say, but I feel a similar way, a lot. Over the past couple of years I've realized I have to take it seriously and almost treat it like a physical illness: Don't push myself, talk about it honestly, and manage the symptoms. It sounds cheesy but it really does help me!

    Good food helps, too. :)

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    1. thousands of LLHs back to you! to treat it like a physical illness is the way to go. it's no more wrong or embarrassing than a broken leg for example, but i guess society isn't really there yet :)

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  2. So true what you say about vulnerability: it's kind of taboo in today's society yet for me personally, it means a lot when people start to share their authentic and their whole selves ... The thing is that I prefer to do it carefully: not every person deserves to get access to my whole truth ... yet that's a choice we all make for ourselves ... and on the other hand: if people don't want to accept who I am, it's their loss ...
    Thank you for your version of the tzatziki recipe: it's the perfect way to add a summery touch to the days on which the sun hides and the season feels more like autumn than spring ...

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    1. "not every person deserves to get access to my whole truth" - i so much agree with that, even after outing this "illness" here on the blog :) once upon a time, in the beginning of the blogging, someone asked me why i put out my whole life online. i answered that a picture is just a millisecond of my day, so not even a whole second of my day was published ;)

      eat well! x

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  3. I've been depressed since being a teenager. I go to cognitive behavioural therapy and I chose to not take drugs, but it's a personal decision. It's important to realise that depression is not who you are. At least it's not the whole you, but only a part of you. That little part is taking life away from you and this is what hurts me the most about battling depression. The only thing, however, that helps me is doing sports. I hate dragging myself out every day, I don't want to go for a run or a 100km bike ride, but I have to in order do maintain a healthy dose of serotonin and other happy hormones. I will probably be depressed for my entire life, but this is just me. For some, it's a chapter in their life that they can get over it with the help of drugs and therapy. I hope that you will seek professional help and remember to never give up. Force yourself with all the power you have (even when there's 0% power in your body) to maintain a sense of normalcy in your life. I want to stay in the whole day and stare to a wall, but while I didn't choose to feel this way, I can choose how I react to feeling this way. So I force myself every day to go to work and be the best worker I can be and I force myself,at least 3 times a week, to go out for coffee with friends. It's my norm. Despite my condition, a routine that maintains a sense of normalcy in my life is what keeps me sane. Best of luck. There are people who love you, don't be afraid to open up to them. They will do the best they can. Lots of love from Slovenia!
    / lartichaut.tumblr.com /

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    1. Thank you very much for telling your story! Routines really help handling it and I am looking for professional help (it takes time as I want to find someone who understands my native language, Swedish). I wish you all the best!! Sandra x

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  4. Lots of love to you, Sandra. I am a daily but quiet reader from your blog and I love your way of living, seeing the world and your photos! Keep going to making yourself healthier, all the luck and love and light, you'll need... it's on it's way!
    Love from the Netherlands, Lotte

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  5. Hej! Även jag är en av dom som känner till det där svarta hålet och jag har försökt allt möjligt för att "komma ur igen". Som mycket känslig person kan det vara bra att jobba med kroppen, eftersom mycket händer i tankarna hela tiden. Det som har hjälpt mig bäst är Qi Gong och "Atemarbeit " (nach Ilse Middendorf). Jag är varken tränings-, grupp- eller yogatypen, men har känt mig "hemma" med båda metoderna eftersom dom ger en ro i sig själv. Det är utan tvivel bra med hjälp och stöd utifrån, men det är viktigt att du blir bekväm med ditt inre igen – där sitter alla svaren. Vilken väg du än hittar så önskar jag dig lycka till och var snäll med dig själv, Sandra! Eva

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    1. Hej Eva, tack så mycket för din input! Ja, kroppen ska få sitt ännu mer än promenaderna jag börjat med igen :) Den enda som kan göra mig frisk är ju jag själv när det kommer till kritan. Kram!

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    2. Och: Så himla glad att du har hittat dina metoder!!

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  6. Almost the same here, Sandra! I know this situation will end, but it is still pretty tough to deal with it. However, there are very positive things that help us and that we shoulg be thankful: friends, family, love. You know...In times like this I think we can visualize clearly what matters in life and what is most important for us. Take care of yourself, pamper yourself a little bit and be grateful for the family and friends you have.
    Best wishes from Brazil,

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    1. thank you fernanda! i sent you a reply on my facebook page :) x

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  7. Hearts Darlin' (as they have said on Coronation Street). Nature and Dogs/Gerbils as well as love of Peeps far and wide help me much in my challenge with Depression. Also, going to a group meeting and hearing other people's stories - puts things in context. ODAAT is helpful for me (one day at a time). My younger sister, who was only 45, passed in NOV and she wrestled her 'IvY'; her name for the blue meanies that came with Bi-Polar. My Mom lived with Bi-Polar. My sister ended up ending her suffering - I think she was 'out of body/out of mind' honestly when it occurred. Through it all, knowing one's life IS one's choice. But what grief overcomes one. I have been off work going into my 7th month. But I am more focused and open to new things now. I opted to take medication to support my brain function. So much 'shaming' out there, often not intentional, on taking medication. It supports my brain and supports me to live a bigger life. Much love to you. I posted on Facebook to 'come out' and express what I struggle with, Depression, as well. Not to be defined by it but to help others understand my story and for me to come to terms with it. I love how we are all unknown to one another but so linked in soul and humanity. a gigantic hug with a mug of java. You are an inspiration. We will remind you. xxxxxxxoooooooo Suz

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